DeFi's October Hangover: Still Puking?
The "October Crash" Hangover So, the DeFi market's still reeling from whatever the hell happened in October. FalconX says so, anyway. And apparently, only *two* out of twenty-three "leading" DeFi tokens are showing positive numbers for the year? Give me a break. That's not a market; that's a slow-motion train wreck. According to a DeFi Token Performance & Investor Trends Post-October Crash report, the DeFi market is facing significant challenges. Down 37% on average for the quarter? Who are we kidding here? This is crypto; volatility is the name of the game. But let’s be real, that kind of bloodbath isn't "volatility," it's just plain failure."Safe" in DeFi: Losing Slightly Less Than Everyone Else?
"Safer Names"? Pull the Other One Investors are supposedly flocking to "safer names with buybacks," like HYPE and CAKE. Down 16% and 12% respectively? Those are the *best* performers? I nearly choked on my coffee when I read that. What constitutes "safe" in DeFi these days, exactly? Losing slightly less money than everyone else? And then there's MORPHO and SYRUP, outperforming their lending peers because...minimal impact from the Stream finance collapse? Congrats, you managed to avoid getting completely annihilated. That's the new standard for success. Seriously, are we lowering the bar this far? Are these the coins we're pinning our hopes on? It's like saying, "Well, at least this house only burned down *partially*." That's not exactly a ringing endorsement, is it? Speaking of endorsements, what about these Binance listings? Bitcoin Hyper (HYPER) is gonna fix Bitcoin’s slow speeds? Maxi Doge is a “stylish meme coin”? Come on! You can find more information on new listings in articles such as 10 New Upcoming Binance Listings to Watch in 2025.DeFi Valuation: Or, How to Polish a Turd
The "Valuation Landscape" Is a Clown Show Apparently, some DeFi subsectors are getting "more expensive," while others are "cheapening." Oh, you mean like everything else in crypto? Spot and perpetual decentralized exchanges have declining price-to-sales multiples because their price declined faster than protocol activity? No freakin’ kidding. Lending names are "steepening on a multiples basis" because price declined less than fees. Okay, let me translate this garbage: people are panic-buying anything that even *smells* like stability in this dumpster fire. But here's the real question: if lending and yield are supposed to be "stickier" than trading, why are they still tanking? Makes you wonder if anyone actually believes in this "stickiness" or if they're just desperately trying to justify their bad bets. You know, I saw a squirrel in my yard the other day, and it was burying nuts like the world was ending. Seemed like a smarter investment strategy than half this DeFi nonsense. So, What's the Scam? I'm not saying DeFi is *entirely* useless. But let's stop pretending these "safe havens" are anything more than slightly less leaky lifeboats on a sinking ship. The whole sector needs a serious reality check, and maybe a good cleansing fire. Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. We're All Gonna Lose Money